It seemed like my 4 year old upright vacuum cleaner was on its last legs. The belt was going -- making a nasty burning smell whenever I ran it -- the suction power was down to almost nothing, the case was cracked and splitting at the seams and the power cord was frayed. They don't sell replacement belts in any of the local hardware stores. I got a quote of $75 dollars just to replace the belt and patch the cord. Time to replace it.

I've done some shopping and I can't find a single decent vacuum cleaner to replace it with. Seriously. They all stink.

I think that there's a competition among vacuum cleaner manufacturers to make the crummiest, highest-maintenance vacuums with the most expensive short-lived parts. And what ever happened to bag-vacuums? Is part of the competition also to see how much dust people are willing to inhale when they clean out their vacuum-bins?

What a bunch of thieves these vacuum cleaner manufacturers have become!!

All of the vacuums at the department stores are "cyclonic" "wind-tunnel" vacuums now -- a technology notorious for low power and clogged filters. They all require a dust-bin change after every use and new filters every few weeks. The ones that advertise washable filters have additional filters that aren't washable and need expensive replacements periodically. The washable filters clog after every use, which means that you have to buy a spare for the first one to have sufficient drying time if you plan on using your vacuum two days in a row.

I almost picked up an Electrolux for $200 dollars even though it was one of the ugliest things I've ever seen and was burdened with a completely useless dust-brush embedded in its side. It had what looked like a crack-resistant, stretchy hose and it had all the right attachments, including a neat little pet-brush thing that might be useful on my couch. Then I noticed that the hose was so short that even with two extensions on it the thing couldn't reach much above waist height. How is one supposed to vacuum cobwebs with that thing? Who tests Electrolux vacuums, cartoon dwarfs?

So, after weeks of shopping, I did what any red blooded man would do. I ordered a replacement belt on eBay, opened up my old Dirt Devil and shortened the frayed cord, patched the broken plastic brackets, snaked the hose, zip-tied the parts of the frame that were coming apart at the seams... I think I can squeeze a few more years out of it now.

Maybe I can keep it going until the motor burns out. Maybe by then somebody will make a decent replacement. There's bugger-all out there now.